Madison’s Favorite Irishman Divulges Secret

Sunday, April 1 | Food Fight Weekly News

Madison, Wisconsin — Peter McElvanna, owner of The Coopers Tavern, revealed today that he is not,  in fact, Irish. “Everyday, for the last 20 years,   I’ve woken up and spoken with this accent” said McElvanna.  “I’d heard a Sinéad O’Connor interview as a young lad and fell in the love with the way she spoke.  Afterwards, I couldn’t get over it so I just started speaking like her. It just snowballed from there.”

McElvanna decided to issue the statement after an inspiring night at the movies. “I’d just come out from Fifty Shades Freed and realized it was time to free myself from the shadows.

“The truth is, I’m not Irish” explains McElvanna. “But the accent has served me well for many years. It got me a restaurant, a wife, and a little local fame.” Now the time has come, he says, “to clear my conscience.”

“I’m still the same Peter you’ve always known” he points out. “With just a bit less lilt.”

While McElvanna prepares for some disappointment from long time patrons, he assures folks “I may still bring it back once in a while. Maybe for St. Patrick’s Day or during a Bohs [soccer] game.”